9.11.13

Wednesday, September 11, 2013


This week has been so different. Last week I felt like things were finally coming together, but this week... this week has made me realize that things are still just slowly falling apart. It has made me realize I am still as lost as ever.

I feel like I am doing everything I am supposed to do. I feel like I am doing everything I have been told to do, but things just won't come together. Today was the day that my whole life was supposed to change... but here I am, sitting at home, just wondering what things would have been like if today happened the way it was supposed to. People make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes change everything. I still don't know if it is for the better. All I can do at this point is have faith that it was for the better.

I realize that the only thing I can do now is have patience, and trust in the Lord that he will guide me through this. I have complete faith in that. It is all I really have at this point.

I see all these people around me making these huge changes in there life. They have said a "see ya later" to the things that didn't make them happy, and have just gone for it. These people are such an inspiration to me. They have taken their lives into their own hands, and are doing what they love. I know that sounds completely selfish, but I don't know if it is such a bad thing. What is more worth it? Living your life in fear of displeasing others, or having the courage to stand up for yourself, and take control of your own life. When it comes down to it, it is our life to live. I believe there is a balance. I don't think you are ever too young or too old to take chances. If it doesn't work out the first time, try it again. Your life is never something to give up on.

I think I am slowly getting to the point of taking control of my life. To pushing out every one's opinions of what I should be doing with my life right now, and relying on myself instead. I am so ready to take MY life back, and take the time to figure out what I think is best for me. The only person I am choosing to rely on through this is the Lord, and I think with Him I can finally get through this. I can finally figure out where exactly I am meant to be.

*image via pinterest

12 comments:

  1. I believe in ya girly! :) You've got this. Let God take the reins and see the ride he has in store for you!

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    1. that is all i can do at this point. just have to be patient!

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  2. Oh, Shelby. What perfect timing. I think we're on the same confused, mostly-falling-apart page. And it really is most frustrating because I also feel like I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do. But each day I wake up with this gnawing in my stomach. What is that?!

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    1. i have no idea. maybe it is the feeling of knowing there is something better out there that i could be doing, but i have absolutely no idea what it is. i just wake up feeling like what i am doing is not enough.

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  3. Thinking of you! I believe in living your life how you want and doing what makes YOU happy. Those that are the most important will love you no matter what and will support you. xoxo

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    1. that is so true. i always seem to forget that. those people that don't support you aren't worth it anyway.

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  4. This is so true. I think we have a mistaken idea that someday when we're 'grown-up' we'll have everything figured out. Life is always a process. Life is always about making hard decisions. Life is always about figuring out who you are and what you want to become. It should be called "becoming" instead of "life." You're not alone in it at all, everyone's fighting the same battle. X Jane http://janeheinrichs.blogspot.com

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    1. I love this so much. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this out. It is perfect.

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  5. aww im sorry it didn't work out for you, but just as your hoping, there's always that next opportunity around the corner. It's normal to be disappointed, but keep that positive attitude and hang on for that next success!

    as for your comment on my post about ditching everything and doing what i wanted, the best advice i can give you is just save. seriously, that's all it took us! we both stayed at our terrible jobs for an extra year and saved almost every penny we got so we can have a safe nest egg to up and quit and move across the country without a plan. that way we knew we'd have months of rent, groceries, and fun expenses ready without stressing out. and having that nest egg also let me NOT take another office job and instead make my blog my full-time job and give me the time to write my book (basically, my dreams!)

    so if you're getting tired of the spot you're in, save up and start going on that track you always wanted. be brave lovie, you can do it!!

    xo marlen
    Messages on a Napkin

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    1. thank you so much for the advice. as stupid as it sounds, i never even thought of that. of course that is part of the process. i am going to bust my butt this next year to finally do something for myself, and move to portland to finish school.

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  6. Oh, Shelby! I'm sorry things are a bit tough right now. I know it doesn't make it any better to say "everything will be fine!" because when I'm feeling low/discouraged, it doesn't really help me when people say this to me. It's tough. I know things can be worst, but how you feel is so important. Just know what life is what you make of it. If you want to make a big change, go for it girl! It's cheesy but seriously YOLO. Everything will work out. It will! And if you're not ready to make those big changes, then make small, but significant changes. :) Sometimes the SMALLEST thing can create SO MUCH!

    Suggestions on what makes me feel better when life seems like it's going nowhere: Go to a museum, read a good book (I just read One Day by David Nicholls and it changed my life), grab a friend and drive a bit far out and take loads of pictures and have loads of laughs, cook a huge meal or bake a huge cake from scratch (one that takes the entire day to make and ends up being so delicious and you're so proud of it), rearrange your room, paint :)

    Keep your head up :)

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    1. you are seriously the best. i want to do every single one of those suggestions. i really like that you said to start small. i think that is the hardest part. when you are going through a rough patch you just want these HUGE changes to happen, and you make these ginormous goals. i think it is such a good idea to start small, and then work your way from there.

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I appreciate your loveliest of lovely comments! :)

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